Freedom From Failure

10/30/2019

Like life support
unwilling
unable
to pull the plug
to flip the switch.

The pain of nothing where there should be something,
it's better.

It's better than saying goodbye-
but keeping it alive is killing you.

A life for a life,
a fair trade in thought,
but if you give your life,
the other dies too.

Flashes of conception
birthing pains.
You hold onto them
and wield the knife inside your own mind.

Then
you realize
life includes living
and dying.

Leaves of green
will still all turn brown
next season
those are forgotten
in the eyes
who see the new green.

If everything stayed brown
would it be alive,
or just hanging on?

Is it growing,
yielding?

Or is it taking up space?

Is it delaying the new growth?
____________________

How hard is it
to hold on?

How easy is it
to let go?

Be kind.
Say bye.
Let it go.
Pull the plug.
Flip the switch.

It's not surrender.
It's freedom from failure.

Finding Your Voice In The Silence

2/17/2018

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"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk."
-Doug Larson

Isn't it funny how we can run from ourselves by filling silence with sound? Stay focused on the chatter and you'll never hear what truly matters. I'll admit, I'm an addict to sound but so are you. From the moment you wake up, there's a screen in your face or sounds in your ears. How can you learn to listen if there's so much noise in the way?
Some of us use this technique as a way to hide from ourselves because we haven't yet mastered self-talk and are still too afraid to try. If I'm busy following this week's political scandal I can't worry about my business. Others don't even know they're doing it. Blocking out their own voice for so long, they barely even hear it anymore.
Your marriage with yourself must include the most fundamental of principles: listening to your partner. In our study, we are our own partners- and if you don't start listening to yourself you'll easily listen to others and be led astray. I feel like I'm always surrounded by rejection, and if I listen to their voices I'd never write another thing.

Be comfortable in silence, opt to turn off the tv today or drive to work without the radio. But be warned that when you venture into your silence you'll not only hear your voice but that of your fears as well. I've taken perfectly innocent bike rides to clear my mind that turned into 30-minute sessions of how I'm an utter failure.
The self-talk radio will begin to blare it's top greatest hits about why you're a loser, a failure, incapable, selfish, unlovable, a bad parent, a bad child-maybe you've heard them before?
And this is where the temptation to plug in earbuds will be overwhelming because your silence is too painful. But as love guided me through negative self-talk, so wisdom guided me to silence where I found my healing and you can too.

It starts with silence, then follows with listening. Many thoughts will pass your mind. Simple thoughts of budgets, family, bills… but stay silent longer and your thoughts will begin to deepen. Your fears ever more present, but your dreams will be too.

For me, the conversation usually goes something like this: "I should ask Jackie to go out dancing with me this Friday! We haven't been out in forever and I wanna go do something fun." But just as soon as my thoughts wander to dreams, the self-talk radio starts playing. "You'll go out Friday IF you don't get sick you mean. Who's gonna drive your anxiety riddled self? What're you gonna wear? You don't have any clothes, plus they probably don't even wanna hang out with you anyway. Look at you." And that's about the point I'd go running and screaming back into my bed to hide under the covers.
But someone far wiser than me said our thoughts are but leaves in the stream of our consciousness. We have the power to pick each up, examine them, and let them go. We have the choice to keep them or to allow them to wash by us.
This is one of the foundations of meditation, to allow the peaceful journey of thoughts and emotions into your stream of consciousness. So when I start seeing those emotions of fear, anxiety and low self-esteem swim by, I can let them do just that- go by. I'm in control and I can choose not to hold onto them. And if I do decide to pick up my anxiety and cradle it for a while, I know that I can always set it down too. The choice is completely mine.
But just like you wouldn't only listen to your spouse for 3 minutes a day when you wake up, you also can't just listen to yourself for a few minutes a day.

You are your greatest partner in this life, so listen and listen often-not just 3 minutes a day cross-legged on your floor, not just at the gym or in the shower. Truly give yourself the opportunity to listen and feel throughout the day- you got some important stuff to say!
As you watch your thoughts float by, remember that you and you alone are in control over what to do with them. Pick them up. Hold them. Let them go. Watch the stream flow. Find your voice in the silence.

More Healing Truths

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Touch Your Inspiration

11/14/2016

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Touch Your Inspiration

Many of us aren’t living our dreams, we are living our fears. Our actions are more attuned with our fears and self imposed limitations than our ability to dream and create.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are no real limitations in life, only “rules”, but no one said we have to follow them.

Even though this article is entitled “touch your inspirations," none of us can do that without first accepting fear and not allowing it to control our lives. In short, get out of your own way.

Have you ever heard someone on television that really spoke to your heart? Ever been in a room and seen someone whom you knew you’d like to meet? Maybe you’ve read a book and the author changed your life; perhaps it’s someone you personally know that inspires you. Everyone of us has been next to a person that inspired them, whether from afar, or in the same room. They incorporate everything we are striving to be, or wish to be. They’ve been where you are and made it out. They succeeded.

Becoming who we are purposed to be, (not “supposed” to be”) is a long journey, and none of us, no matter how stubborn, can do it on our own. ”But it’s scary out there” I hear some of you saying, and that’s all the more reason you need to reach up and out to those who’ve walked it before you.

Touching Inspiration

”I don’t want to be that weird guy who walks up to a complete stranger.”

“There’s no point in me emailing them, no one will ever read it.”

“I don’t even know what I’d say anyway.”

And that’s the problem You are responding by fear, not by your dreams. Let’s translate that. “I’m afraid they will not accept me.” “I’m scared that I will be disappointed so I would rather not try.” Lastly, “I’m worried that I’m not ‘up to par". That is fear talking. In order to touch inspiration, we must be willing to step outside of the “rules” and decide to make choices based on our dreams.

Find that person that inspires you, and tell them so. See a mom of 4 in the grocery store juggling a list, two toddlers and a teenager- tell her she inspires you. If someone has changed your life by putting themselves out in the arena -contact them and tell them so. Sure, you might not know what to say; maybe no one ever reads the email, maybe you’ll sound like a complete nutter…maybe. Or maybe, when you break the the conventional rules and touch your inspiration, it will touch you right back.

This exercise is more for you, than it is your inspiration, because it puts you in a state of gratitude. When you flood your brain with questions like, “Who would be my inspiration?” you are asking your brain to search for that which you are grateful for, those people who helped make what you are today and drive you to be better tomorrow. You become grateful in that very moment, wherever you are. And when you act upon those thoughts of “Who do I want to become?” you are living your dreams, not living your fears.

Challenge Accepted

Find someone who inspires you. Touching the person who has made the impossible possible helps you realize that your ideas are also possible and inspires you to keeping going.

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